Blog Post - "Conflict Resolution Application" (8/31/17-9/1/17)

CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPLICATION

My go-to style for conflict resolution is accommodating. Another conflict resolution style that I might try is the collaborating conflict style because that way some of my needs are met and some of the other person's needs are met.  
The first step of climbing down the ladder of conflict is to... 

• Identify your needs. Once you identify your needs, then the other person can state what their needs are after you have finished, and then you can work on a negotiation that solves your needs and their needs.

• Listen to the other person without interrupting. When you listen to another person and you interrupt, it's like you're telling them that their views aren't important enough for you to be patient and listen to them for five minutes, because apparently, whatever YOU have to say is so much more important. When you listen to another person and you don't interrupt, then they feel like their views are actually being accepted and/or they feel like their voice can be heard because you're listening to them state that they need and then you two can work on something peacefully.

• Brainstorm possible solutions. Once the other person has stated their needs and you have stated your needs, then you can get started on brainstorming possible solutions that work for the both of you. As per my experience, try to think about the other person more than what you think of yourself, because if you create a solution and you're just focusing on your needs, then chances are, your solution will just contain you doing something that helps yourself and completely ignores the other person.

• Eliminate solutions that are not probable. If you find that some of your solutions focus on mainly your needs and only touch the other person's needs once or twice (or not at all), then eliminate those solutions. Maybe even try to cut down on some of your needs and have the other person do the same so that way it can be easier for the two of you to find a solution.

• Choose a solution that meets everyone's needs. After you've eliminated all the improbable solutions, then decide on a solution that meets everyone's needs and make sure that it works with you and the other person.

• Make a plan to take action. Go forth with your solution. If you've done all the steps then your solution should appeal to everyone in the group. Unless your solution means ditching everyone and just doing your own thing, but if that's the solution then I don't really know what else to say.

This video can be found at this link here.

Well, for one, Sheldon's conflict style was more of a directing/controlling approach, seeing as he relocated himself out of his seat and stormed to the front of the room to confront Leonard about his presentation on physics. Leonard, on the other hand, was trying to maintain the calm through a collaborating conflict style, as at one point, he says, "Then maybe you should have done it with me!", which hints that he has possibly asked Sheldon to help him with his physics presentation and Sheldon declined, which then leads to this current situation where Sheldon follows up with more dialogue that contains, "...because I knew you'd screw it up." Finally, the conflict escalates when Sheldon tries to blow up Leonard's mind and Leonard slaps his hands away from his temples. After this, Sheldon is still unrelenting and continues the same approach, which leads to Leonard trying to pummel Sheldon and Sheldon appears to be going on the defensive.

Now, if I were in this situation along with Sheldon and Leonard, I would have tried to de-escalate the conflict by persuading them to resolve it through I-messages. To Sheldon, I would say: Sheldon, instead of trying to blow up Leonard's mind, you can have stated, "I feel like you didn't present your physics speech in a proper manner." Perhaps if you had used this I-message, it would have helped Leonard understand why you were displeased with his performance and the two of you could sit down and work on it together so it could help Leonard improve and presentations for the future and it would help you develop yourself as a better person. 

Currently, I think that this unit on "Learning to Collaborate" is useful because last year, and the year before, I didn't really get along with some of my group members. Actually, one real life scenario that I've personally experienced was last year, for our End Of Year project, and a group mate was talking about how their hair-pulling "condition" should have more scientists trying to find a cure for it rather than cancer, in which my other two group mates countered them and said that cancer was much more important than their condition because their condition didn't actually kill anyone, whereas cancer does kill people. If I could go back in time and fix that problem, I would have said something along the lines of, "So-and-so, I respect your opinion, but I also feel a little annoyed that you're trying to hint that cancer is less important than your condition, whereas cancer actually kills people and your condition doesn't." In the future, I can apply what I've learned by de-escalating conflict through I-messages and listening to the other person, as well as following the steps for de-escalating conflict above.